


no rest for the wicked

by soulmarionetter



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: A3! Part/ACT 3 Spoilers, A3! Rare Pairs Week, Alcohol, Character Study, Day 7: Free Day, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, One-Sided Attraction, Original Mankai Ensemble, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:55:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25381213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulmarionetter/pseuds/soulmarionetter
Summary: Loving someone at fourty-seven shouldn't feel the same way it did at seventeen. Sadly, Syu has never really gotten over his first love. Neither has Reni.
Relationships: Kamikizaka Reni/Otomiya Shuu, Kamikizaka Reni/Tachibana Yukio, Kuryuu Zen/Otomiya Shuu
Comments: 10
Kudos: 39
Collections: A3! Rare Pairs Week 2020





	no rest for the wicked

**Author's Note:**

> Oof, finally, free day. 
> 
> Honestly, I had this done way before the week started! I was actually aiming to write for a specific prompt but this fic took life and it just…became a monster, ruining my original plan. 
> 
> I'd like to mention both of my betas, Mabu and Alize, for helping me pull this through. You encouraged me and I can't thank you enough. Love you, my dudes. 
> 
> So, with no more preambles

They first meet each other when Syu is twelve and Reiji is eleven. 

The Otomiya family owns a successful theater and, of course, a family as wealthy and educated as the Kamikizakas must appreciate the arts as much as the connoisseur next-door. All types of art are good when they're done in a recreational manner— _a hobby_. Never when it's your life source, a passion so strong you can't help but to dedicate yourself completely and irrationally. 

Syu has disliked Reiji's parents since then, but Reiji himself is another story. 

The boy is smaller, but his back is set straight and he faces Syu without any hint of shyness. Proud and certain, too much for his age. He probably doesn't mix well in a classroom. 

Syu entertains the thought that, if Reiji ever wanted to—and his family ever let him—he'd be a nice addition to their cast. It's the way his feet are set on the ground. A grandiose stance that screams drama, the poise, the way his hands move accordingly and his core sustains it all together. It's a shame it only looks awkward surrounded by the chains of his lineage. 

He finds himself drawn to this uncomfortable kid. 

And that changes everything. 

* * *

Visits from one household to the other are a regular occurrence nowadays. They _did_ hit it off after their first meeting and thus only grew closer and closer over the years. 

Turns out Syu was right on his first impression—Reiji does not mingle easily. Too upfront, too serious. His strength is also the biggest of his weaknesses. He wants everything to be done perfectly and that's something not everyone can handle, but Syu understands. 

He understands it so much it's painful. 

"What is it?" Reiji's tone is rough, as if the idea of consoling someone else is alien, and maybe _it is—maybe he's never had someone he's wanted to cheer on_. But that's bad for Syu to think; somehow, it also sounds a slightly bit selfish, and he hates it. He hates selfish people the most. 

Anyways, he unclenches his jaw, pushes all of his muscles to relax and makes himself face Reiji with an attitude that fits an actor, not a loser:

"Reiji, would you like to see my act?" 

His friend stares at him as if he's being ridiculous, and perhaps he is, but Syu cares about his opinion. He thinks they can reach the same conclusion, he needs to hear him. 

When the other nods in agreement, Syu recites from his head. Reiji is his audience, the only one that will hear Sakamoto Ryoma's words flowing from his lips, Sakamoto Ryoma's actions repercuting through his body. His room becomes a full scenery. He's a samurai, and he's leading his very own rebellion against the laid out road his parents have set for him—he's going to tear down the shogunate and make the best of himself. 

It's just a one-man act but Reiji is silent, considering. 

"You're the lead for the new play?" He's seen the flyers, of course he's seen the goddamn flyers. His parents put on their utmost effort on making the production sound interesting without revealing the full cast to the public and that includes the most important role. After all, it's their precious son's first big gig. His brother's. 

Syu's shoulders drop.

"I'm a courtesan." He's bitter. He's been working hard, harder than anyone else in their troupe. He _has_ to be better, show everyone he's there not because of bureaucracy but because he's talented enough to _earn it._ It's a shame his brother got all the brawn and Syu got a beautiful face. 

Reiji's face pulls into a frown. 

"You deserved the lead." And he knows it's not a lie. Even if he's not involved, Reiji would never lie about theater to Syu. "They'll see it sooner or later, that was splendid"

 _Ah, how he would like to believe that_. 

Reiji is awkward as he hugs him, lending his shoulder, getting soaked from Syu's aching and _so very bitter_ frustrations. 

Something shifts in their relationship then. Syu is too late to notice.

* * *

When Reiji confesses he's been doing theater to him, it's as if he's lost again. 

A devil-like classmate that can't write his name has been pulling his strings and making his friend turn completely around, _go left, go right, up and down._ Syu has never listened Reiji talk about anyone else in quite the way he talks about Yukio Tachibana. That guy's name slips from his tongue with undeniable fondness. It breaks Syu's heart just a little, a crack, but he can still manage. He can keep going. 

"My parents have allowed me to involve myself in theater until my last day in high school, nothing more," and it sounds like he's vexed, he spits the words as a curse that's been laid on him. Syu thinks this is because of Tachibana. 

"Make it the best for yourself," he answers with a sigh. The Kamikizaka household envelopes them and Reiji's chains are brand new. He wonders if the devil could rust and break them. 

Reiji smiles but it's not really meant for him. 

"Of course I will, I would never set for anything less." 

He's seventeen and in love with someone he can't have and _it hurts._ He believed their bond was special, and it is, but his own feelings had mixed and turned so progressively that he can't pinpoint exactly when did it all go south. 

"I'm glad." But he's not, not really. Tachibana sounds like a scam, someone that will eventually ruin him. 

Yet, he can't say so. Not when Reiji beams like that.

* * *

It comes down fast, as fast as Syu imagined it would. 

Someone like Reiji, someone so naturally inclined to theater. With his stance and his strength, the grace of his movements, the timbre of his voice. _His soul—_ or dare Syu say now, lack thereof. 

"They disowned me." It serves as an explanation and all inside of Syu burns. Reiji's voice is dry behind the phone, but he's known him for so many years, he can understand just how much this is all affecting him. "Tachibana, he and I are going to live together. I have…enough, for immediate expenses." 

Of course. He was the one holding onto him, his core, the very root of Reiji Kamikizaka. 

"Tell me your address," he whispers, scrambling for a paper and pen. He knew the trip to the Kamikizakas household by heart and he'll learn this one just the same. _For emergencies,_ Syu tells himself, but it's a joke. 

Reiji sighs. Whispering the street and number, like a secret. But it wasn't only theirs to keep. He's starting to resent _him_ , truly and wholeheartedly. 

"I'll need to find a job, Syu, maybe two," Reiji laughs and it's not funny to either of them. Going from having everything to almost nothing, Syu can hear the tears falling from his face, "I knew they wouldn't like it, but it has come to this…" 

_Bastards._ Syu will curse them to hell until his last breath. 

"I'll help you," he promises, even if Reiji would never allow him to fulfill. "Whenever you need me, I'll go right to you, just… tell me" 

He means every word and it scares him. His stomach drops, his throat closes on itself. He's still in love with someone he can't have, and Reiji is crying, quietly, on his ear. So close, yet so far away, and he can't do anything about it. He can only listen, whisper some more promises because, if it's not him, then who will support Reiji? It doesn't seem like Tachibana is actively helping. 

He's not even there when Reiji needs a hug.

* * *

His friend looks…emaciated. Eyebags and steadily growing hair falling to his shoulders. He's pale, sickly pale, as he spends one of his rare days off with him—playing with the straw of the drink Syu invited him, a rare nervous gesture. Reiji doesn't _do_ nervous. He's fierce on his opinions and stern with others. Maybe it's because he just admitted he's managing two jobs and the house chores, and Syu is pissed off. 

"He seriously can't even cook?" _Useless jerk._ Syu never really had to learn either but he still did, he's been living by himself for years by now. The moment he could leave his house he ran for it, now he only sees his family for practice. 

"He's very clumsy," Reiji says as if that was an explanation. Syu stares and he gives in because it's the only thing he can do without making himself look like an absolute idiot. "I know what you're thinking: Tachibana is selfish, but we make it work. He's bringing in money and helps around the apartment."

Syu raises a delicate eyebrow. There are some more choice adjectives he'd like to add to Tachibana's description, _shameless_ being the first one on his mind. Reiji takes the hint, moving the straw to his lips to take a long sip of juice. 

"We have a dream, Syu," is what he says, in a voice so thin that Syu has to give him all of his attention to understand. Not a hard thing to do, since whenever Reiji speaks to him it's as if only he existed in his eyes. "We want to make our own theater, create our perfect play anew. Something that truly makes the difference."

It's not fair. 

It's not fair that Reiji wants to see Tachibana act again when Syu is the one that has more experience. More passion, more _love._ And again, he's being terribly selfish. _Is he any better than Tachibana, really?_ Reiji's voice drifts, his eyes twinkling and Syu has to fucking _pull himself together._

"When that time comes–," he's hopeful, all of Reiji's faith condensed on his speech, "–will you come to our audition?" 

Not fair. 

As if he could ever deny Reiji his acting.

* * *

Not even a full month later since they last saw each other, Mankai's construction had begun and it was all _Reiji_. 

Reiji's plan, Reiji's responsibility to oversee—Reiji's handown money. 

The day of the audition, Syu had his heart up on his throat, pressing his pipe and making anything very hard to swallow. He was worried, he couldn't care less about Tachibana and whatever God he was trying to play, _that scum_ —he was doing this for Reiji's sake. 

When Reiji's set his eyes on him, he visibly relaxed and Syu's cold demeanor melt. Was he relieved to see him? Was it because Syu was an asset or because it was _him_? Was, somehow, Syu a calming and familiar presence for Reiji? Was he _happy_ to see he had complied? That he had taken their promise seriously? He was a man of his word, he would never pull back, specially when this something meant the world to Reiji. 

After all, Reiji, in turn, meant the world to Syu. It was okay if the other just didn't feel the same. He'd still follow.

He passed, but that was a given. What Syu didn't really expect was that _everyone_ would pass. 

The results came right after everyone had said their part. He peeked at the pair of obvious amateurs next to him, with their bright smiles and even brighter eyes—looking forward to the best of dreams, bowing their heads to Tachibana as if he had somehow saved them. 

Speaking of, the man himself smiled with satisfaction. Reiji, next to him, looked far from happy but stayed silent. Was it always like this? Tachibana doing his thing, pushing everything aside without a care once he was bored and leaving Reiji behind to pick up the broken pieces? _He knew it._

Tachibana came up to talk to everyone, even shook their hands promising to make all of them bloom on stage. Untrained eyes could probably never gaze further, beyond the director act. This man was voracious, willing to take all kinds of measures to assure his goal without a single second thought. Systematic chaos. 

He scanned the room, Reiji was sitting meters away, gazing upon all of them with a frown. It was clear he was not joining into the joyous atmosphere—in fact, he was detaching himself on purpose.

Syu smiled back when Tachibana lied to his face. The devil only speaks such sweet words so they can corrupt others.

* * *

Finding Reiji by himself was difficult when all of this started. He was either with Tachibana or being followed around by less experienced members wanting frank words and sharp advice. 

Even Syu was… enjoying his time on Mankai. Being given the roles he wants and not the ones he looks better performing, the opportunities to show just how much he has practiced, how much he has grown into his role until there's no difference between actor and character. 

But—

Wasn't this _their_ _dream?_ Reiji compromised so much for this and yet he's the one left alone, sitting by the garden on his free time, carefully taking himself further into a corner. 

He takes the first step. 

The warmth of the afternoon is closing upon them. Clear blue mixing with orange as the sun prepares to leave. Hints of pink, a shade of purple. Reiji doesn't seem bothered, resting carelessly on the bench while surrounded by nature. Long grass and bushes, colorful flowers and trees. The golden light falls upon his face carelessly, he glows. Luxurious, glossy hair put up into a high ponytail. A few rebel strands framing his royal profile. All of them, mixed together, form a beautiful sight.

Reiji's eyes open, menacing until he realizes it's just Syu. 

"Practice is in a while." It comes out harsh and dismissive. Syu's eyes widen in surprise. In all these years, Reiji's never been like this, not to him. It's enough to make something ugly curling on his stomach crawl up to press on his chest, crushing, threatening to break him from the inside-out.

"I know." But he has a duty, both as a friend and troupe leader. So, he sits beside Reiji and listens to his defeated sigh and the cursing under his breath. He won't let him catch a break, not when it looks this serious. "You can't keep going like this." 

He flips, looking at him as if Syu's just said the most terrible thing in the universe. A flash of hurt on those glazed eyes make his own heart squeeze painfully. But Syu knows Reiji understands this is nothing but the truth. 

"We're not working," and the admission comes in a shameful whisper, like just talking hurts. His hands are shaking, his whole body tremors as he curls upon himself in a poor illusion of security. Syu's breath is caught in his throat, his arms moving faster than his thoughts. 

"I've…" He sniffles and, by the way Reiji's shoulders quiver, Syu knows he's trying his best not to break down completely. 

"It's okay." It's the softest tone he can mutter. The same he used when Reiji's parents left him to rot, when his first pet died, when he failed Physics—

"I've worked so hard, Syu." 

_He knows. Reiji's the most dedicated person he's met._

"I… tried so hard to make this work" 

_Of course. Syu noticed, everyone noticed and know he had the best of interests._

"Then why… Why is he like this, Syu?" 

_He'd like to know as well._

He hugs Reiji closer to his chest as if he's precious and fragile, the most expensive and richest porcelain that he's lucky to be able to hold. To Syu, he's all that and more. He's special, he's always been special. As an uncomfortable kid, an awkward teenager, a stingy adult—he's special. If only Reiji could see himself in the same way Syu sees him...

_If only Reiji could love himself half as much as Syu loves him._

* * *

The apartment is silent without Yukio. Almost lifeless, carefully put together in a way that's nearly plastic—unreal, not very different from a staged room. Even Syu is unnerved; he's visited enough times to know how Reiji lives, how Tachibana mixed in. He knows Reiji is making reasons to come back as little as possible. Checking Mankai's finances, script study, practicing by himself and asking Zen to give him the keys for the night so he can close. 

The invitation to a drink is weird, but the shadow on Reiji's face is enough to make Syu give in. 

He's concerned, the buzz on his head is not enough to make him miss the way Reiji's fingers grip the glass, taking his liquor with heavy swigs as if the alcohol could make him forget. Take him away to a world where it doesn't matter if Tachibana is still around, where Mankai is not a weight upon his shoulders. It's enough, the taste of whiskey burns Syu's throat for even trying to keep up with his friend's pace—he's not okay. 

"Reiji." His hand reaches a wrist and pulls. The glass is already empty and it's better left of as it is. The other can handle heavy drinking but this is too much, it's a stretch and both of them should be heading for the theater tomorrow. Winter Troupe's next production is on the road, they can't possibly miss this meeting, “Let's go to sleep, okay?“

Okay. 

He's unprepared for Reiji's hands setting on his shoulders, grabbing onto him as if they belonged there—his eyes staring up, boring into Syu's and they are… shining. Shining under the artificial light with drunk haze and unshed tears and it's awful, the way Syu's gut turns not in alert but with something else entirely. He's so close, he's so _beautiful,_ even when messed up and sloppy. 

"Do you want to…" Reiji's words are slurred. He's lagging. Syu knows it's the alcohol, but his resolve is feeble and his mind is fogging progressively. Every second he looks into Reiji's eyes are the sweetest kind of torture, and Syu is a weak, pathetic man in love with his best friend. 

Arms wrap around his waist, and drag until he gets a lapful of Reiji. Their first kiss is aggressive, it's not ideal, it's not what Syu actually _wants—_ he's always dreamed of kissing Reiji under the moonlight, taking his hand beneath the table and holding him gently. This is anything but that. 

Reiji's hips shift, grinding down hard enough to take Syu's breath away. His friend's shirt is gone and he's being allowed so he touches, he _adores_ , fingertips going up Reiji's sides to both feel and pull him closer, chest to chest. They slide over his back and finds out it's _sensitive_ as his caresses go low and lower. His mouth nips on the bare skin of Reiji's neck, and the gasp he hears in response makes it worth it, so worth it. He hopes he remembers tomorrow just as much as he hopes he'll _forget—_

Both of them, would probably rather forget. 

… 

When he wakes up, hours later, he's tired and thirsty. Reiji’s sleeping beside him when he realizes he's uncomfortably sticky— _they_ are uncomfortably sticky. His heart thumbs on his chest with unrestrained anxiety, but the sun is rising and a new day begins. Both of them will have to talk about bad decisions. His mouth feels like he's swallowed sand.

At the very least, Reiji looks calmer. 

His fingers move on their own, pushing the long strands of hair behind his ear. He's careful, Reiji needs the sleep. A sigh comes from his lips and Syu's movements fidget, uncertain. 

He doesn't wake up. It's better like this.

* * *

"Syu."

He's been distracted lately. Ever since that drunken mistake a full week ago. 

Syu doesn't feel like he can still call himself Reiji's friend. He messed up, he was stupid. Tachibana hurt him and he was afraid he had somehow taken advantage of his friend's vulnerability, even when he supposedly knew better. Even though he vowed to protect him. 

He put his coffee down, staring at Reiji's frown. Breakfast shouldn't be this tense, he understands he's the one overcomplicating stuff but he can't help it when it comes to the other. Still, he owes an apology for not being really listening for the past ten minutes. He's in the right for being annoyed with him, Reiji doesn't care for nonsense. 

"I'm—" 

"If you are going to apologize again then can it." So yes, Reiji is very much annoyed. But still, this is not something he could let go so easily, not even if the other wanted to. 

"No, let me—" 

"I said, can it." 

"Like hell." 

They don't clash often. Syu could probably count the number of fights they've had in one single hand, their attitude towards work is the same. They each hold the same high standards for an orderly troupe and the perfect play. There might be differences, but there's nothing so inconceivable that they can't reach an agreement. 

When they do, though, it's in toxic, cold rage. Like pitting two snakes against each other and see which one would be the first to drip venom. 

Reiji sighs, apparently tired of whatever this is and Syu can't blame him. He has more urgent matters to attend than appease Syu's self-hatred and insecurities. 

"You are still thinking about that night. I told you to let go, it was a one time thing," Reiji snaps, because they did talk about this and that was the conclusion both of them reached and _that's the problem. Syu doesn't want it to be a one time thing. He never wanted to have only a one night stand with Reiji._

"You were trashed," he mutters, because he knows he has a point to make across but they're also in a cafeteria and Veludo Way has ears everywhere. 

"And so were _you_ —okay, you know what, if you want to blame yourself, I can't do anything about it, but you should understand what happened that day was something we did together. And I started it."

Then he looks away, swift. Marking their conversation as over and done with, at least for the subject in question. 

Reiji doesn't understand. And Syu is too much of a coward to explain in detail.

* * *

Reiji stayed until Winter Troupe's promotions and presentations were over. He even let them celebrate in the name of another popular play ending up in a happy note before officially announcing he was leaving the troupe. 

Not surprising. Everyone could see that it was bound to happen one way or another, he and Tachibana were fundamentally mismatched from the beginning and barely spoke anymore. Sooner or later, one of them was going to up and leave and he was probably the only one that wanted it to be _Yukio_ instead. And whatever it was that made Reiji finally cut the string, Syu never got to know. The reason was for Tachibana to reflect on. 

In general, Reiji was unhappy and their goals complete opposites and he was well aware of that fact but Yukio also was...different. Slightly so, he could probably fool everyone else but not Syu. Never Syu. The man wasn't that good of an actor, he would know. He's been acting since he was _born._ It was like water and food to him, an essential. 

"Syu, could I ask something from you?" 

Was hate such a strong word, really? It was hard to just call what he truly felt for Tachibana "resentment". He's been plucking everything Syu cared from the moment he started hearing his name. 

But whatever, it was work. He smiled for the troupe, for the whole Mankai that accepted him as an actor, for Reiji and his original dream. 

"If it's something I can do." A carefully executed reply, tone taking the edge of the ambient with ease and Yukio's grin reached his eyes. There, professional acting. 

"Reni doesn't want to see me" _Ah, but it was hard to maintain it when he still calls him like that so casually,_ "But he forgot this in the office, could you perhaps give it back?" 

There were a handful of ways Tachibana could give Reiji back his notebook without involving Syu, but apparently that was too much effort for him. Instead, he'd rather push the responsibility on someone else and he happened to be the easiest target. _What a shameless devil._ But at least he was decent enough to not show Reiji his face again. 

He takes the notebook on his hands and he recognizes it, has seen it before a number of times and that's why he knows it's not something Reiji would forget, especially not around this particular man. 

"I didn't open it, I swear!" Yukio is fast to clear up, both his hands raised in defeat, laugh cracking up like he can't help it. "You can be really scary when you're into it, Syu. That's dangerous!" Oh, he doesn't know half of it. 

"It's fine, I'll do it" 

_Actually, it isn't._ But he can't really do much besides giving this back to Reiji. He is sure that sooner rather than later, he'll miss it. 

Still, as he says his goodbyes and reaches home, diary in tow—there's a single, traitorous side of Syu that thinks it would be better like that for Reiji. Pushing all of Yukio and Mankai away, leaving the memories of Tachibana behind. But it's a dumb thing to even consider. He knows him better than most; it doesn't work like that. 

And also, Syu believes he'll come along in the end. Because Reiji doesn't hate Mankai, much less Yukio. They were his family and this should be a happy place for him. 

Maybe not this year, nor the next, but he believes everyone will make amends in the future.

* * *

"So the name will be God Theater." The name tastes like lead on his tongue, Syu frowns and blames it on his drink. The bartender put way too much rum on the mixture. 

"It's under construction, I'm proud of the design," Like he once was with Mankai, Syu remembers the way Reiji would light up when talking about Hakkaku-san's connections and just the idea of getting to work on his own theater. He was sweet, almost childish, something his parents never allowed him to be, but Syu would cherish whenever he caught a glimpse. 

"I'm glad everything is going well with you." He smiles even if some of his senses are screaming that this is not entirely okay. That there's something his friend is not telling him. 

He doesn't want to be right, not about this. Reiji can't fall to ruin for someone like Yukio Tachibana. He's been through a lot already. 

"Thank you." Has Reiji always been this tense? Sure, they haven't met up in a while, they're busy, but how much can pass in a single season? Meanwhile Mankai is being forcibly overtaken by Summer Troupe, Reiji is approaching his own goal and working mostly by himself. It's natural right? That he'll be like this, if he's worked himself until the bone. 

"I won't ask you to help out." He's clear with that and Syu gets it. He'd like to, but it doesn't feel right. Not when it took him a whole day of talking over with the rest of Winter Troupe about it—no, he won't follow on Reiji's footsteps. 

"So we're rivals now?" He cracks a joke, now the ice has melted into the drink and it's somehow bearable even if the flavour is completely watered down and ruined. 

Reiji doesn't laugh.

* * *

He still answers the phone when Syu calls and that's a good sign. The fact they haven't met up even once since that day at the bar is secondary. Their conversation is cut short because GOD-za is busy working on their first play. Syu promises that he'll buy a ticket and Reiji whispers his thanks. It's a little awkward but Syu will take it. He'll take anything. 

Autumn Troupe is still actively working during their season, but Winter Troupe already has their script done and printed so they're starting to get a feel on their characters. Hakkaku-san, once more, has exceeded himself with this new piece. Every line is powerful, making even the supporting cast shine during interpretation. He's used the original characters to create a new story—a rebellion in itself, a call out to the author. 

There's only one issue. 

"I mean, it's probably the best script Hakkaku-san's done for us—" 

"You always say that, Syu." Zen stares down at him with a confused look on his face. He's actually right, he does say that every time there's a new print on his eager hands. He doesn't stop reading until he's finished and then he goes at it _again_ and doesn't stop until he has every line memorized. "You're the biggest fan of Hakkaku-san's" 

"That's not the point." And it's still embarrassing to hear that apparently everyone knows he's lightly _obsessed_ with Hakkaku-san's work. If Zen, that lives in his own little world, knows and pokes fun at him, then surely everyone in the company is aware _, including the man himself._ "I just…"

"Don't wanna wear a dress." 

Syu has deep respect for onnagata actors. Every teacher that has taken time to help him polish the act and also Kasumi, that he has helped more than once with his many years of experience playing the part. 

But it's still an issue to him, interpreting women. 

Christine is an immersive character, and Hakkaku-san's Christine in particular takes absolutely no shit from Raoul or the Phantom. She's strong and reliable, her powerful singing outshines Carlotta's— _Carlos',_ from the very beginning. Her fame is built up by only her pure talent and dedication, her desire to grow as big as she can. She loves and feels gratitude, but she's not dependant of any of those to make herself great. 

"I don't know what you've been through, but I think you're the only one that could pull her off. And not because of the dress part." Zen is rough with his words but not unkind, he's contemplative and serious, a leader like himself. "I've seen you guys warming up to the script and I feel like she was made for you, and that's why Director and Hakkaku-san were so insistent."

He's at a loss for words and Zen smiles. Clapping his shoulder with maybe too much strength for Syu's thin build.

"You can do it."

* * *

And he does. 

The fabric of the dress feels silky under his fingertips, comfortable even with the amount of thick layers it has. The heels are short and he can manage just fine, he's not very tall but neither are his troupe mates and that made the person in charge very sad ( _"Why couldn't this be a mixed play? There're so many tall guys around, I really wanted Syu-san in high heels…")_. Maybe the only problem is the corset, fitting tightly upon his torso and gripping like a vice. But it's not like he's never worn one before either…

Make-up takes a little bit longer but it's worth it. They make the best out of Syu's delicate features. Pinks for his eyes blending with a tone akin to champagne, a striking cat line on top complimented by his long eyelashes. Blush and glow, peach colored tint for the lips. His troupe mate looks like he is having fun even if this means he'll have less time for himself ( _"I'll be honest, I've always wanted Syu-san to wear this kind of make-up! I want to make you look better than perfect, okay? Stunning!")_

It's been years since he last performed a woman and now he's doing so willingly, with a team that cares for his acting skills more than his looks. It brings a smile to his face, the gentle curls of the wig fall down until they meet the middle of his back. 

He hopes Reiji attends. He accepted the gifted ticket, but things are difficult. More than ever, things are difficult between the both of them. 

_"I don't know what you've been through, but I think you're the only one that could pull her off. And not because of the dress part."_

Zen's words play like a mantra inside his head and then he shifts. 

He's Christine. Strong and reliable. Powerful. He loves _(to_ _o much)_ and feels gratitude _(deeply)_ , but he's not dependent of any of those to make himself great ( _they make him greater_ ). 

… 

"You deserved the lead." Reiji's voice on the other side of the phone makes his heart flutter, thin fingers clutching the material as if he was a newbie receiving important recognition. "No one could play Christine like you did, it's the perfect fit." 

"Flatterer, it's nothing you've never seen before." He smiles, letting go of the breath he didn't know he was holding onto. "But, even though it's far from my first role, it did feel like it."

Reiji is silent, he feels the need to keep going:

"When the audience gave us a standing ovation, I really wanted to cry, you know?" He still sort of does, even now that the last presentation is over and he's resting, staring at his ceiling. There's warmth filling him completely, from head to toe, "It's almost as if I've discovered theater all over again, Reiji" 

"...I see you've truly bloomed, Syu." He sounds fine. Like he does, in fact, feel glad to hear of Syu's self growth. But unmistakably, there's a hint of something else on his voice— _and is he truly happy for him? Is his grudge against Tachibana stronger?_ They've known each other for so many years now, but he seems too far. There are new sides of Reiji he has yet to understand, and the idea makes him tense. 

"Anyways…" So he changes the subject, and Reiji follows. 

GOD-za is doing fine, they've managed to get a regular audience that seems to be growing with each play. The angelical theme was a hit, but he's considering switching up a little, he'll have to discuss it with his script writer.

Reiji himself is doing well. Yes, he still refuses to take a pair of scissors anywhere near his hair. No, he's not cutting it, seriously. He's living in the same old apartment, but he's considering the idea of selling and buying something closer to Veludo Way. He doesn't like cars, remember? He'd rather walk to the theater. It's good sport. 

As they catch up, Syu breathes easier. It's like nothing's changed between them—conversation flows naturally, they're okay. They're still close, right? More than ten years of friendship won't go down the drain because they're in constant competition. They're stronger than that. 

"Thank you, Reiji," he murmurs. It's late, they spent so much time just talking, the clock on his bedside and his whole body are asking for him to close his eyes and rest. "For coming. It means a lot to me."

Reiji hums, he mentioned he still had some details to review tonight. He's really taken up precious hours, right?

"Don't mention it. You would have done the same." That's his Reiji, blunt bordering on a little mean, with thick walls surrounding him because he was…soft. If he liked you, he'll never be able to leave you behind. He was cute. Syu would've paid to see his expression right now. 

"Thank you." But he mentions it, _ah_ , he is really tired, his thoughts are cloudy. He wants to see Reiji, wants to talk face to face. He understands why he didn't stay behind, but...

"Please, sleep."

It's physically painful to hang up.

* * *

Syu hadn't expected he and Zen would only grow closer. 

They had a fair number of interactions before. Sometimes, the leaders met to discuss Mankai, their troupes and what they can do to improve them. Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter—all of them are different in theme, the people conforming them and their relationships, But it's nice to hear what others got to say. Syu had always wanted to belong to a theater that can work organically. 

Truth is, if Zen hadn't talked that day to him, he might have asked to switch the roles as much as it pained him. He would have never lived through that performance, wouldn't have peaked in the same way Christine allowed him to. 

So, he naturally gravitated towards the other, and Zen seemed to accept it without any problems. 

He'd never sat down to think that Zen is not only an actor and a fellow troupe leader, he's also Mankai's manager. And he's fairly efficient in his work. Tachibana takes some of the load, and they do have occasional helpers around, but things like tending to the bills and preparing the monthly budget are stuff that have to go through Zen first. 

"You're good." He also cooks sometimes, and Syu is not exactly keen about cabbage but Zen makes it _different_. He stares at the process with sharp, inquisitive eyes. The other just keeps on stirring the vegetables on the pan, not minding the intense stare. Weird, people usually get nervous. 

"I've had many part time jobs in a kitchen," he explains, before mixing in the boiled noodles. It smells tasty already, curious onlookers have peeked from the door frame and are probably excited at the idea of fresh yakisoba made by Zen. Syu snickers. "And I want to open my own restaurant one day, so I have to get better" 

_Oh._

His gaze lifts from the food to catch Zen's smile and suddenly it all makes perfect sense. This is practice, managing Mankai might be different from a family restaurant but not so to not make it count. Zen is doing this much work because he wants to improve himself for the sake of attaining a goal—he's completely set on it and that's something Syu has learned to admire. The reality mixed with illusion. The tangible equivalent of hopes. 

"If it's Zen, then I think it's more than possible." He's diligent and organized, a quiet administrator juggling practice and accounting, leading and planning. Syu's suddenly filled with the want to cheer him on. "You're great at all kinds of things, after all" 

"...Is this revenge?" And he turns, intent on making each serving handily and quick. The tips of his ears are red and if his hands are unsteady, then Syu doesn't tell, but he smirks. Understanding. 

"Revenge?" 

It's not every day that you find out your cool troupe mate can't handle honest compliments after all.

* * *

Reiji and him go out for lunch. Now that GOD-za's is well established in Veludo Way, the distance between them is shortening. It's almost like it had always been, them sharing some of their free time in recurrent meetups. Phone talks can only scratch the itch for so long. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder—and even that's putting it lightly. 

"Everything is mostly the same back there," he tells Reiji, as his fingers twist on the fork, spinning—fettuccini wrapping around the curved points. "But now the idea of making dorms popped up, and the majority is on board with it since we have the money" 

Reiji frowns at his lasagna. 

"Whose idea was it?" By his expression, he definitely has someone in mind. Syu doesn't want to be the one to prove his suspicions right, it'll make his meal taste sour. So he shakes his head after taking a bite of his pasta. 

"Actually, our younger members are struggling with money. School fees and living expenses," he explains, and it's the truth. Mankai might be doing better, but it's still hard to make it through until the end of the month when you have so much to consider. Syu comes from a privileged position, but he's seen some members counting notes, wondering if they'll have to ask for their family's money again—some don't even have that luxury. 

Reiji is still irked. Syu remembers careful planning and a smile. But he also thinks about two jobs and no rest, a teenager forced to grow up and face the world as it is and doing so proudly because there was no other way. 

"Understandable." _And it doesn't matter, Mankai has nothing to do with me anymore_ is written all over his face. Syu still believes that can be fixed. "But if everyone agrees, then all of you will move in? I can't see you sharing." 

"Think I can't deal with a roommate?" That's slightly offensive, Syu thinks he can make the best out of most circumstances. 

"You've been living by yourself for what, five years? And I know for a fact you've never shared a room for more than a few nights." Reiji has a few points, he'll give him that. 

"I'll give it a shot, if it doesn't work out I'll still have my apartment to go back to." He has no reason to leave it behind, after all. Reiji rolls his eyes at him. 

"Who would you even room with? I don't remember you being close with anyone like that, not even the rest of Winter Troupe." Hm, he never told Reiji about how he accepted that one role, right? They've never told everything to each other, but this is undeniable evidence of a new gap they won't overcome soon. 

"If I could choose, maybe Zen? I do think we'll room within troupes, though. And I'm not opposed to anyone, really" 

Reiji stares in disbelief:

"Zen? When did you two start talking more than necessary? He's as taciturn as they come and you are _you._ " 

"Gee, thank you." But he's right, Zen is a man of few words and Syu can be hard to approach. "I think we became closer when I had to fight him for our practice room last november". 

"That's a joke." 

"It's not." _It really wasn't._ How come when he tells a joke Reiji never laughs and when he doesn't he actually snickers? It makes his stomach flutter anyways. 

"Doesn't the manager get his own room?" 

“Manager and director." And as swift as it came, the smile is gone. It's incredibly disappointing to see, but Syu understands he can't rule Reiji's feelings. It's his own fault for mentioning Tachibana. 

"Doesn't he have a wife and a daughter?" Izumi is the brightest little sun. She took everything redeemable from his father and none of the bad. Syu hopes she grows up into a better person. 

"They don't live in Tokyo, as far as I know." 

Reiji laughs again but it hits different. Syu puts down the cutlery, he's no longer hungry after all. 

"As selfish as ever."

* * *

_Evil exists to contrast with goodness. If there is Heaven there must be Hell in a complex yet beautiful balance. As a man, you can reach either and no matter how many wrongs, if you strive you can surely reach salvation._

_The devil lets go of Faust's hand as he's taken by his beloved—saved by God, mortal sins acknowledged and accounted for and, since life is a journey and actions are temporal, make the most of it. You must fail to triumph, and you will grovel before tasting paradise. No one is untainted, as winning is prevalence. And you've prevailed, good for you._

_Mephistopheles laughs because it was all in good fun. Humans are such joy, he'll have to look for another._

… 

GOD-za is a full house for their last night presenting Faust. Syu is standing, the atmosphere is heavy and solemn. The public mulls over the tragedy, the charm behind the desperation. Catharsis itself is beautiful, draining as your spirit is born anew in contemplation. Art is such because everyone is left with an impression and the power to make people speechless before a grand applause—that's proficiency. 

This is as personal as it can get. Risky too, when compared to last year's most popular play. Syu stays behind because he needs to see him. 

"You're still here." Reiji's voice. Some people are cleaning but they pay them no mind, time passes and as much as Syu would like to have this conversation in a better place, it might be too late then. Even now, it might be too late.

"This kind of play—" 

“It took a while to produce, the script wasn't exactly what I wanted, but it was fruitful. The receivement was even better than expected."

 _No, that's not what he means._ He has to grip his own knees so his hands don't start moving frantically. 

"Reiji, you can't keep going like this." A mirror, so many years ago he said these exact words to the same person, thinking about the same man. It doesn't go pass Reiji. 

"Don't tell me what to do." 

Yet, it hurts. It's been too many years already and he's useless. Even breathing feels like too much and he's happy for the dim lighting, the discreet helpers. He feels defeated. What is he, if he can't save the person he loves? 

"Fine." 

He should be used to this, Reiji never wants to be helped.

* * *

Syu knocks on Zen's door. And, as if he was being waited on, Zen opens just a few seconds later, letting him enter without asking any questions. 

It's not the first time he's been let inside the room but it feels intimate. Syu takes his place on Zen's couch and the other is quick to follow. And, almost like a peace offering, Zen gives him a glass of sake. He snorts.

"You keep this in your room?" He still accepts it, swirling the clear liquid before taking a tentative sip. It's good, this is good stuff. He bought it? Or one of the many women fawning over him during Autumn Troupe's performances gave it to him? He's a bit jealous, he only gets sweets. 

"It's expensive." Sure, it does taste like liquid gold going down his throat. He'll have to be careful, he _is_ a light-weight after all and being as out of it as he is doesn't help his case in the least. 

"Then, what's wrong?" Direct to the chase. Zen doesn't pull any punches and maybe that's what Syu needs right now that even the glass feels like too much to handle by himself. His head is threatening to crack itself open, and not because of the alcohol. 

"Let's say I fought with Reiji." He technically didn't but that's how it feels like. They haven't talked at all in the past few weeks and Syu wants to believe that his friend is giving his words at least consideration, but he's not an optimist.

"Reni? That's complicated." Maybe even that's putting it lightly. Syu knows him too well, even if he comes to terms with what happened, Reiji will always remember being cornered inside his own theater. Maybe he should have reconsidered his own words then, but he's not about to apologize—he's right. 

"I'm not saying I'm sorry," Syu says, and that's final. Being petty won't solve the problem but this is something far more tricky. "Maybe the way I put it wasn't ideal, but there's no way he doesn't know what he's doing. He needs to understand." 

Zen takes a sip himself. He looks as if he's in deep thought. Eyes closed, reflexive. 

"Sometimes you don't have to apologize." He shrugs and makes it sound so easy, it's infuriating. "If he knows you're right, and it sounds like he does, then let him come at his own pace. Reni is strong headed: for better and for worse, whatever you said to him won't make him suddenly hate you" 

He doesn't know what kind of grimace he's making but Zen sighs, a hint of a smile on his own face. 

"You're the only one he still talks to, I've tried to say hello when I see him on the public for your plays, but he's fast." That's just ridiculous, but it's also the truth. Zen might be onto something. "Also, you don't have to look at me like that." 

"This is my resting face." _Does he really look that mean?_

"Sure." Zen's face on the other hand is quite handsome, Syu could look at him for hours if it wasn't inappropriate. "I like it, though."

_Huh._

"You're flirting with me." It's not accusing, he's genuinely surprised. He's loved Reiji for so long that he's grown desensitized to everyone else.

"Have been for a while." Syu laughs, of course, the only way he'd notice was if it hit him on the face like right now. "There's someone else, right? I get it, if it makes you uncomfortable I'll stop." 

He nods his denial. 

"It's fine, I'm okay." He puts the glass upon the coffee table. The room feels hot, the atmosphere has shifted irrevocably and he can't say he truly cares. He doesn't have anyone to remain faithful in any way, his own heart doesn't count when his body obviously betrays it. "If there are no strings attached, then I'm game." 

… 

Zen picks him up as if he's weightless and kisses like he's drowning. His hands a firm grip under his thighs, long fingers squeezing generously. Syu's losing his mind. It's been so long since he's been touched like this. He wants more. He _needs_ more. 

He falls on the bed, _and it shouldn't be so hot to be manhandled like this._ Zen takes place between his open legs like he belongs there. He should've known he would like to do this rough and it's perfect, it's what he's craving. He's glad his room is so far to the others. 

He stops thinking when Zen's fingers touch the soft skin of his hips and further down.

* * *

Kasumi is giving him a wrapped box and it's cute. A floral print and a huge ribbon placed on top. He's taken aback, and the other must realize in a second that something's wrong. 

"Has Syu-san forgotten his own birthday?" He has the gall to giggle. Kasumi's cheeky, even when back in the day he couldn't even meet his gaze. 

Yuzo is right beside him but he has the mind not to laugh in front of Syu. He has a gift of his own. Maybe the rest of the Spring Troupe is waiting to ambush him down the corridor and c'mon, shouldn't his own troupe be the one to give him presents first? Has he been such a terrible leader all these years? 

"Thank you." He takes both presents on his hands and hopes he'll be able to reach his room first, "I definitely did, since our next play is just around the corner." And even if he's not one of the main characters, he'll give everything he's got for his role. It's the only way he does things. 

"Spring Troupe is supporting all of you!" Kasumi's smile is contagious. He's pretty sure no one could come to hate him. Even if they're not that apart in terms of age, Syu feels like patting his head and tell him he's doing great. 

"We're counting on you to do so." 

The moment he starts walking the rest of their troupe _does_ pounce on him. These guys, let an old man like him put all of the heavy boxes down before giving more… 

Hiro is recording an episode for the new series he's been casted in, but he calls and makes sure Syu agrees to go out for dinner. It's hard to resist, since he's probably more excited for his birthday than Syu himself is. He's just _thirty,_ nothing great, he feels the same way he did yesterday when he was still young and dandy on the roaring twenties. Summer Troupe is quick to follow, he has a dinner date with a total of six guys this week starting tomorrow. 

Meanwhile, the whole Autumn Troupe took it upon itself to make his favorite food. Every single dish he likes. 

"You orchestrated this," he whispers to Zen as he tries to take a bite of the new course he's being forced to taste. It's way too much but everyone is refusing to eat his birthday lunch even if he's asking them to. 

"Maybe." There's satisfaction on his grin. Syu will remember this later. 

Winter Troupe is awfully quiet still. None of them are in the dorm. The fact that Yukio is also missing makes him worry that they'll do something stupid that he'll end up liking anyways because they're his friends, whether he wants it or not. 

The bell rings and he takes the chance to stop getting stuffed like a turkey gladly. 

It's a delivery man. And that's a huge flower bouquet. 

The man stares at the group and sighs, he looks tired. Syu doesn't take offense. 

"Who is Otomiya Syu?" 

"That would be me," he says, and there's so many pairs of eyes stabbing on his back, he can feel them. The man asks for his sign and he scribbles as fast as he can because he wants it to _stop._

"Okay." He puts the papers away and the bouquet is all his. "I think someone truly likes you, sir, just my opinion." 

_Honestly._

… 

Back in his room and away from prying eyes, he reads the card attaches to the bouquet. 

_Anemone for sincerity and daffodil for respect. Daisy because faith remains in my heart and thuja for our everlasting friendship. You are holly osmanthus, I'm the single rose button._

_Happy birthday, Syu._

Could Reiji be more embarrassing? Is this his way of saying he's sorry? What the hell, a letter would've been okay. A call. _An email._

It's ridiculous. Just how happy he is to know he's still important. 

His fingers graze the rose petals, before he's called back to his own birthday party.

* * *

They fall right into easy friendship again and Syu is fine with it. He never expected anything else, either. It's kinda funny even, the way he refuses to let go of this love that's never going to happen.

"Did you perhaps remodel?" Last time he entered GOD-za, he could've sworn the pillars were a different color and the engravings had different shapes. He's not well versed in architecture nor aesthetic in general, but they look nice. Nicer. 

"I didn't think you'll notice, but I did. It tells a story." Syu tilts his head. He'll have to come back someday and stare at the pillars, apparently. 

"Kinda like a church," he pokes, and like always, Reiji doesn't seem to find it funny. 

"Churches use mosaics." How dry, but here he could easily imagine mosaics instead of normal windows. Reiji would reject his idea calling him senseless, though. It's really not his area of expertise, while Reiji could've gone for a diploma if he had wanted. 

Once they reach his office Syu takes his time to take it in, the furniture is new and is distinct from the outside. Modern and sleek instead of adopting the classic concept that's GOD-za's signature.

"Say, hypothetically," Reiji begins, sitting on his chair. He's solemn, is this the act he uses with everyone he calls to his office? One elbow on top of his desk, chin resting on his palm. His actors might quiver, but Syu is _this_ close to snort. He knew him when he still couldn't grasp the perfect technique to tie his own shoelaces. "If I offered, would you join me?" 

The words feel like a bucket of cold water. And he can't say he's never considered the idea of working with Reiji again. Once, their interests aligned perfectly. Maybe they still do, at least when it comes to the process and production. 

But he owes Mankai and he's responsible for Winter Troupe. He can't leave any of them behind, even that shameful excuse of a director—they've created something together and he'll remain loyal until the end. 

"I wouldn't." It tastes acrid on his mouth, to deny something for Reiji. But things are like this; the cards have been laid out and he's picked sides on this particular battle. He's done. 

Reiji takes it well, as if that was the answer he had expected anyways. He smiles at Syu, softly, a little challenging. Like when they used to compete for the most popular etude in different sides of Veludo Way. 

Good times. The good old days.

* * *

Isuke is a shot in the dark. He joins one day and the next he wanders around Mankai like he's always been there and everyone takes a quick like to him. Easy-going but surprisingly eager to help around. He messes up more often than not, but those are details. He'll learn. 

_Maybe._

"You say you went into management?" Hiro's face scrunches up, tone gritching, clearly doubtful of the claim and not bothering to bottle the attitude. Right next to him, Zen sighs. If he could, then he would walk out right now lest he yields to the temptation of slapping the back of Hiro's head. They don't get along because they deal with problems too differently: Hiro has no tact and Zen has second thoughts about everything he does on a daily basis. 

Isuke's disposition doesn't change even in the face of his senior's harassment. Syu is left impressed. 

"I failed three courses!" That explains it. He's so nonchalant too, Hiro might get a stroke. It's no good. 

"Now, don't mind it, Hiro. That's Zen's successor after all, let him handle it. I know we can trust Matsukawa to become a great manager." He smiles for good measure and Isuke pointedly looks _away,_ flustered, hands fiddling with his glasses with a nervous chuckle. Syu blinks, he's shyer than he expected. 

Hiro doesn't look like he agrees, but even he can take the hint. Zen clears his throat. 

"Isuke said something important came in the mail." Right, that's why they are here after all. Spring Troupe is in a photoshoot with Director, and they didn't want to bother them unless whatever Isuke wanted them to see was _actually_ important enough to do so. 

"Yes!" He's so excited. Even if it was whatever, Syu might find it upon himself to forgive him for interrupting self-training. 

Isuke produces a card, and the signature makes their jaws drop collectively. 

They all know what that specific flower motif means.

* * *

Hakkaku-san's been feeling under the weather for weeks now but Kusumi takes on his father's role, with a tentative approach and a fresh proposal. It's his debut as a script writer and the Fleur Award is more than just an intimidating stage. It's frankly terrifying. The man seems to be holding himself just fine but Syu can see there's an edge to him that wasn't there a week ago. 

"It all started on the day the Ghoul came to visit me again…" Kasumi's voice shifts. There's no cheer, no trace of the light air that usually accompanies him— _her_ wherever she goes and that's because she's not supposed to remember about it, deep inside, _there's surely nothing to remember_. They've told her she's crazy. _She feels crazy,_ retelling a story about loss and forfeiting that could never be. Her own hands move upon her stomach, nervous, as she gazes up to meet the psychiatrist's eyes and she's taken aback. He's crying. 

"Finally, you're back," Yuzo sobs. The papers on his hands fall to the desk because they _don't matter, they're useless._ This whole world is a lie and the Ghoul has been laughing for far too long, consuming their fear like a treat. He stands up and meets her, holds her hand and her stare because he'd made a promise a long time ago, when they didn't understand what they got into "We're getting rid of him, Clara. We're going to be happy" 

Their act is all about synergy. Kasumi pulls and Yuzo follows, they're too used to being together and fall naturally in sync when presenting otherworldly drama. The emotions hit home, Syu's heart beats even if he knows the ending—an unfulfilled oath. A victorious villain. 

Tachibana is smiling. Obviously pleased. 

"That was amazing." He's radiant, even if Syu still doesn't like him, he's never met someone as happy to direct plays. Like his life couldn't go on without producing theater, as if the sole reason he was put on earth was pulling the strings of his actors with purpose. As if he'd much rather kill himself than give up on telling stories. 

Yes. Yukio Tachibana is a demon willing to give anything up if it meant fulfilling his own gluttony. 

Meanwhile, Syu has always thought of himself as painfully human.

* * *

Reiji never gave his congratulations for their Fleur Award nomination and Syu, for his part, never expected them. But when they sent their resignation, and Veludo Way's tabloids started to pass the voice of Tachibana's disappearance, his number lightened the screen of Syu's cell phone every single day. 

"He's truly gone then." He didn't want to see his face. Reiji could mask his voice well and his expressions were excellent, but Syu wasn't fooled and today he didn't care for more reminders that this has never been about him. 

"His wife couldn't tell us anything and, along with their daughter, she's the only family he stayed in touch with." He can't believe it's been only a week and Mankai's a shadow of what it used to be. Kasumi and Yuzo are gone, half his own troupe have thrown the towel and he doesn't need to ask Hiro nor Zen about their situation. It's bad, all over the place. 

Reiji doesn't offer comfort and Syu doesn't ask. He would have liked it, if things were different. If the emotional baggage was lighter. 

"Mankai is falling, are you leaving too?" His friend asks and if there's a hint of regret there, Syu is tired enough to pretend not to notice. He's done for, all of them, both of them. He stayed until the bitter end and it's less dramatic than he thought it would be, like a natural cycle that had to be fulfilled. Abrupt as it might be, the show must go on and this dying theater is not the place he used to belong. 

"I have to." 

He's always had to take on his own family's old theater, but Mankai was a good dream. The best dream he ever had besides childish fantasies of moonlight, hands beneath the table and holding each other gently. 

He's too old for fairy tales. But even he wanted to reach happily ever after.

* * *

He takes the bills because he can't bear seeing the place go down completely. A young blond man in glasses helps and if Syu's seen him, he doesn't remember. It's what Sakyo wants from all of them, right? It must be. Zen was closer to him but even he can't say. 

"Director was the only one that could read that boy, he was careful with him." 

"Izumi really liked him, after all. Bet he was actually tired of hearing his name." 

The deep chuckle that earns him is gratifying. Talking to someone who understands, _who remembers_ makes him feel just the slightest bit better. 

"Isuke is still living there," Zen tells him with a concerned frown that doesn't fit the comforting aura of his own restaurant. "I told him it was useless, but he said he believed it would work out sooner or later. He's strong." 

Syu nods his agreement. Isuke is stronger than all of them. 

"It would be nice, though." His cabbage rolls on the house are getting colder, but Syu knows they'll still be tasty. "That it could work out in the end. I want to believe so too." 

He knows it sounds stupid, but he'd really like it if one day Mankai was to open their doors again to the public. Their time might be up, but there would be new faces and they could mix up, and share their own stories about theater and how it changed their lives—Kasumi, Hiro, Zen and himself. Yuzo and all his troupe mates. Hakkaku-san, and maybe Tachibana too, he'll compromise. 

_Reiji._

Zen sighs, a reminiscent smile.

"You're more of an idealist than I thought." 

Syu's not, really.

* * *

_Reiji—_

_No._

_Can you save Reni Kamikizaka?_

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate title is "Reni love mail", just think you should know. 
> 
> Anyways, if you'd like to talk about OG A3ders and RENI— I go by @soulmarionetter on twt too! Thank you for reading!


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